She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
