Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
