dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize