Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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