My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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