I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
