the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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