Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
