i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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