he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
