i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
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That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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