i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
