I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
