are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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