the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
