she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Randomize
