All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
