I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
