jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
