Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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