Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
