He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Come see our sink grown plant.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
