No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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