It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
