hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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