I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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