Apparently you make a good broom.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
