I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
