oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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