just tell him i said nine months
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
