Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
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You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
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i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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