I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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