In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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