I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
