is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
