If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize
