So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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