i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
