Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
