why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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