how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
