Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
