We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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