Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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