At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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