i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
