Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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