My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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