I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
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I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
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The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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