I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
