i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
