So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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