Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
where are my eyebrows?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
