i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
