So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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