If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
