Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
