I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
